So lately, I have been noticing that Tim and I have been spending less and less time together. Me being a full-time student and him working the evening shifts forces us to be like passing ships through the night during the week. However, there are still tiny but significant moments here and there when we can get, ya know, chummy-chummy. But instead, we merely say "hey you" and then go back to doing what is SO important- watching guitar players on Youtube for him and online shopping for me (do I dare admit it? Alright alright. Yes, it's getting out of hand).
I have also noticed that we are less and less affectionate with each other. Sure five years of marriage will do that to ya, but for heaven's sake... we are still young! On a side note, haven't the radio stations had enough of the song "We Are Young"?!? Goodness! Talk about jamming it into your brain!
Lately, only by the grace of God, I have been analyzing myself rather than putting all the blame on the hubby (oh but trust me, I shall get to that part soon). First of all, I have forgotten how visual men are! The moment Tim steps out of the house, he sees all these beautiful women everywhere. And then at the end of the day, he comes home to this - a wife wearing the baggiest, most granny-like pjs (I practically live in them) with absolutely no makeup, no trace of color to her face other than my naturally yellow skin, hair that would make Medusa proud, and Harry Potter glasses to finish off this perfect look! Get the picture?
However, I certainly do not look like this when I walk out of the house! I completely transform into this whole new me. I make sure that all my imperfections are hidden and tucked away. So I ask myself, "why do I not try to look my best to the one person that matters the most?" Sure, I can't look perfect all the time, but I can DEFINITELY make more of an effort.
Another realization is that I nag about everything! I just can't seem to leave the guy alone!! I see the hubby and I immediately say things like "you didn't mow the lawn? how come you don't wash your hands? can you pay the bills? don't you see the dishes piling up?" Boy when did I become... my mom? I must sound like a dripping faucet all the time!
Now how do we spend our time? The answer is short. We become couch potatoes. It's without a doubt so nice to be one with the couch and stare at the TV all day long. However, it would be nice to look at each other and actually have a real conversation once in awhile, right?
So my conclusion? I am going to date my husband of five years! I used to be and still am the same fun, caring, energetic, pretty(?) gal that he met seven years ago. I have let myself go over the years, and it's time to change that. I recognize that I may not get the same high-intensity, overly stimulated, on-the-verge of explosion feelings from when we were dating, but that's ok because they are replaced by more sophisticated, endearing, ever-lasting feelings of peace, trust, comfort, and deep appreciation for one another. We just need to make the effort to spend more quality time together and actually communicate!
So to initiate, I took him to Mighty Fine, his hands-down favorite local burger joint! He goes by himself quite often, but I rarely join him. Well, you can guess how excited he was when I went with him for the ride!! Boy, it really doesn't take much to please our men does it? It made me incredibly happy =) Who knew?
So here we are enjoying each other's company and of course sinking our teeth into this:
And yes... he wore his most prized hamburger t-shirt. Can you tell he's a burger fanatic?
We talked for a bit and then quickly fell silent...
It's FUN to date the hubby! Many more fabulous dates to come!! I am looking forward to it.
Michelle says
Love this, Min! And I love that Tim was the first one to comment on it 🙂 AND I love his burger shirt! That is awesome.
I totally agree that couples have to keep making an effort to "date." While I'm still dating my boyfriend (since we're not married), I always remind myself that when we have the rare opportunity to see each other (since we live so far apart right now!) that I need to make sure and make the time special. I'm so guilty of not bothering to look anywhere near my best when I'm just around Craig, and I know he'd appreciate it if I at least didn't wear the same sweats every day 🙂
Min says
hehe yes Tim is quite a happy man this week =) Now I know! When he's feeling grouchy, sad, stressed out...feed him a burger!
Being in a long distance relationship is def challenging (Tim and I experienced it as well), but it can also really strengthen you guys as a couple!
OK so let's make a deal. You hide those sweats for awhile and I shall burn my pjs hehe. I would suggest you burn them as well, but I don't know how attached you are to them =)
Min says
Yes yes! I think God really knows what we really need to hear and speaks to us when we need his wisdom and guidance the most! Our church has been going through a series called "Him and Her," and we have been diving into the word to understand what it truly means to be a Godly woman or a man. It certainly got me to reexamine myself and to admit my shortcomings which is def a good thing! Thanks Ellie, and yes! we ARE going to have FUN!!
Yoonie says
I must agree with all the others... LOVE!!!!!
I sure can use some help in this department as well...
Man Tim looks mighty happy in his favorite burger shirt 🙂 aren't our men just so simple and easy to please?? Take me to that happy place next time won't you?
P.S. Oh and what is that itty bitty wImpy burger you are devouring??
Min says
Yes!! I shall take you next time you are in town sis!! I know you will love it!! They have the best milkshakes too because ..you guessed it! They use blue bell ice cream yahoo!
And no the burger is not itty bitty..my face is just hugemongous =(
myhealthyohana says
I love this post!! After six years of marriage, a child, and one on the way, my husband and I definitely need a reminder now and then to make quality time just for each other :). Thank you for sharing this! A burger night sounds like a perfect hubby date night!
Min says
HI Maura! hehe I am sure he will love a burger date night! Then again I bet he will love anything as long as he's with his beautiful wife!!
Ellie says
Oh my goodness I just LOVE LOVE LOVE this post, Min!!!! I am so encouraged and saying amen to your realization because I'm sure every couple goes through that phase at one point! I have learned and read that it's all about being intentional (not fake) in the way we treat each other. Also, I heard the same exact thing on the Christian radio a few months ago, about how we should be more preoccupied of lookin' good for our husbands than others out there. At the same time, it's good to know that we're secure and beautiful no matter what because they love us unconditionally, and vice versa. 🙂 God bless you guys and have fun "dating"! 😀
Tim says
That burger was...Mighty Fine!!
Min says
It certainly was!! Don't worry!! We shall go back soon =)