My fertility Issues and A Healthy Chicken Recipe

Grilled Chicken w/olive relish

Before getting into this recipe (I promise it will all make sense in the end), I would like to openly discuss some personal matters, if you don’t mind.

It’s been a while since I last talked about my fertility issues here.  As some of you may know, my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for almost 2 years now.  There really are no words to describe all the ups and downs and all the feelings that accompany the monthly anticipation of “Oh honey, I think this might be it!” only to find that the heartless pregnancy test shows no smiley face.  I didn’t think it was possible to experience such an array of emotions all at once.

Perhaps it’s weariness, the sense of helplessness, or the numbness even that makes me feel more at ease over time.  There comes a point when you hit a wall and say enough is enough!  I’m finally learning (once again) to accept the fact that I have no control in life.  For so long, I believed that God doesn’t give me more than I can handle.  He loves me so why would He inflict so much pain on me?  But sure enough, it is written that God breaks us so he can remake us (Hebrews 12:4-12) so that we may be renewed and will find our strength in Jesus Christ alone.  So I’ve rephrased my previous belief to say that God does not give me more than Jesus can handle.  I have my tumultuous moments, but I’m finally learning to find peace in the midst of all this.  That doesn’t mean we’ve stopped trying…I’m just not putting so much pressure on myself or allowing the emotions to get the best of me.

To go into more detail about my situation, I had hypothalamic amenorrhea and worked really hard to get healthier.  Thankfully, my cycle has been regular for about a year now at the expense of having to get a whole new wardrobe, but hey, I’m okay with that ;).  My ultrasound looked great apparently, blood test came out normal except my estradiol was still on the low side.  I’ve taken Femara twice and just finished my third cycle of Clomid, both at the lowest dosages.  In case you’re wondering, I did not turn into a crazy woman..well not until the third cycle anyway.  Let’s just say that I was a ball of emotions.  I’ve invested a lot of money in purchasing ovulation kits (Clearblue is the one I recommend most), and I check every month to make sure that I’m ovulating.  Apparently, just because you have a cycle doesn’t necessarily mean you ovulate.  I had no idea.  Sure enough, I get a smiley face each time.  So why?  Why am I not getting pregnant?  You can understand my frustration, right?

Ovulation kit

So then two weeks ago, on Labor Day, I went through with IUI.  Tim and I had been considering this for a long time, and we finally decided to give it a try.  Everything worked out smoothly!  The timing was perfect (you have to go in the day after you ovulate, and it happened to fall on a holiday!) and cost wise, our insurance paid for part of it and the rest we paid with Tim’s wellness credit.  We ended up paying a little over $100 out of pocket.  Not too shabby.

We’d been praying with our hands on my womb (don’t try to picture it as it may seem a bit comical), and waiting patiently for 2 weeks which is when I’m supposed to go in for a blood test.  Well, looks like I can scratch that off my list as I started this past Friday.  I don’t want to relive that day again…

But you know what got me through it?  My husband’s text message (he was in Houston that day) that said that he’s thankful for this hardship as his love for me is growing stronger and stronger because of it.  It was enough to get me back up on my feet to face another day with gratitude.

Grilled Chicken w/Tomato-Olive RelishWhew!  I’m glad I got that off of my chest!  Now, onto this recipe.  The mind is a really funny thing.  So I’ve been obsessed with olives lately.  At first, my close friends asked me if I was pregnant.  Apparently you start craving pickled foods?  Anyway, upon hearing that, I thought, “hmm..maybe so!”  Then I started eating even more thinking, “My body’s craving them!  It’s a sign!”  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve made  pasta puttanesca.  As soon as I found out I’m not pregnant, though, all of a sudden I find  them less desirable.

Grilled Chicken w/Tomato-Olive Relish

I made this dish when I was in my “#1 olive lover” mode and devoured it.  I wonder if I will like it just the same now…  I’m sure I will!

Grilled Chicken w/Tomato-Olive Relish

This is a quick and simple recipe with minimal ingredients…a perfect busy weeknight meal!

Grilled Chicken w/ Tomato-Olive Relish
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
Ingredients
  • 3 tsp extra virgin olive oil
  • 4 skinless, boneless chicken breasts
  • 1 med yellow onion, sliced thinly
  • 1 garlic, minced
  • ⅓ cup pitted olives, roughly chopped
  • 1 cup cherry tomatoes, cut in half
  • 1 Tbs balsamic vinegar
  • Mixed greens
Instructions
  1. Heat a grill pan coated w/ 2 tsp oil over med-high heat. Season chicken with salt and pepper. Add to pan and cook about 6-8 min. on each side or until done.
  2. In another pan, add 1 tsp oil and cook onion until caramelized. Add garlic, olives, cherry tomatoes and stir. Add balsamic vinegar.
  3. Serve relish with chicken.
Notes
Calories: 227 Total Fat: 8.5g Saturated Fat: 1.4g Cholesterol: 97mg Sodium: 430mg Total Carbs: 4.9g Fiber: 1.4g Sugars: 2.1g Protein: 35.2g
Nutrition Information
Serving size: 4-6 Calories: 227 Fat: 8.5g

Lovely comments

  1. says

    Min, I really wish I was there with you and give you a big hug and tell you that eventually things will be ok in the end, and that eventually the little Min/Tim will come. I’m so glad that Tim’s love for you just keeps growing stronger despite all the tough times and disappointments, and thank u so much for being so open with all of us.

    Love you very much!
    xoxo,
    felicia

    • says

      Awww thanks, Felicia! Hehe little Min & Tim…can’t wait! Tim’s been such a trooper through all of this and for that I’m so grateful. Hope you are doing well!

  2. says

    I’m so sorry for the struggle you are going through. I know that has got to be really rough when you have all that anticipation as well. Praying for you!
    Ps. The chicken looks delicious even though I’m not much of an olive fan!

  3. says

    Min, I am so sorry this has been so difficult for you. I wish I had some magical words of wisdom, but I do not. Nothing I say could make you feel better, or give you what you want. Just hold on tight to each other, and try to relax on your roller coaster ride! :)

    • says

      Thank you, Lisa for your words of wisdom ;). We need to constantly remind ourselves that we have each other and that we’ll get through this one way or another!

  4. says

    Min, my heart is breaking for you. I know what its like to wait until God gives you the desires of your heart. Believe me he will, but in the mean time he is breaking and molding you into the parents he wants you to be for your child. I will definitely be praying for you and Tim. HUGS girl!

    • says

      Krista, your words are so encouraging. Yes, he is “breaking and molding” me, and I shall wait patiently for His perfect timing. Thank you!

  5. says

    Min, I’m so glad you’re able to share your experiences even as I wish you didn’t have them there to share. I really feel for you and can only imagine how tough this process must be. The ups and downs and emotional roller coaster must be just exhausting. I am glad you’re able to try and focus on taking a slight step back and seeing what time brings. I know it doesn’t really help when you’re in this phase, but I have had friends struggle with similar difficulties and in the end have healthy children. Sometimes it takes time, and in the scheme of things, perhaps a year isn’t so long for your body to have got your cycles back. You worked so hard to get to this place with your health, I am thinking of you both in your desire to start a family and hope that the time will come very soon xox

    • says

      Awww Kari..thank you so much for your lovely comment. And thank you for sharing about your friends’ success stories. I’m growing a lot spiritually as well as mentally through all of this, and I’m not giving up. I know it will happen..I just have to remain faithful. Love you!

  6. Kailie says

    Just found your blog through pinterest as I found this yummy recipe! Thank you for sharing your story. I know its tough, I am there right now too. We tried fro two years, then got pregnant once but lost the baby in a traumatic ectopic pregnancy that left me in the hospital. Now we are back to square one trying again (and praying it doesn’t plant in my other and only fallopian left). Keep your head up, it’ll happen when its supposed to!

    • says

      Thank you so much, Kallie, for taking the time to leave this sweet, encouraging comment and for sharing your story with me. Wow..I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I’ll also be praying for your lil’ miracle! Let’s both keep our heads up! ;). Thank you for the reminder.

  7. says

    Hi Min! I’m sorry to hear your struggle. I have several friends who went through similar hardship too. It’s important to be optimistic but I know it’s very hard to do so when you are focusing on having a baby, how can we just forget the feeling and all… but hang in there! It’ll happen when it’s meant to happen. Thinking of you and Tim. :)

    • says

      Thank you so much, Nami, for your encouragement. Indeed, it is so tough to stay positive and hopeful month after month, but I’m going to keep my head up and take things one day at a time ;). Thank you for thinking of us! I’m so thankful to have Tim’s unending love and support.

  8. says

    Thank you for sharing your story, Min. Keep strong! Your great, positive, happy attitude well help you. I hope everything works out for you two. :)

    Now this dish looks amazing. And healthy. And low carb. YES! I love it. Pinned!

  9. says

    Putting your guys’ hands on your womb when you pray is not comical at all. I understand fully as we also pray and direct our hands to somebody who needs praying. I am going to tell you something that hopefully will encourage you. My best friend just delivered a baby girl this year and they had been trying for 13 years. She is forty years old.I prayed for them too. God gave them their precious gift after they had experienced life traveling and really spent time with one another. As for myself, the doctor told me twice that I cannot bear children because I had surgery in my uterus twice, due to severe -endometriosis. I had my right ovary removed and my left ovary is only half the size and yet, I have two wonderful children now. Please be strong, I will pray for you. If it is time, it is time. I am with you in your struggles and I pray that the good Lord will grant the desire of your heart.

    • says

      Dearest Shobelyn, Thank you sooo much for sharing those stories as they truly are a testament to God’s miraculous hands! I realize that so many women have or are dealing with infertility issues and that I should NEVER lose hope bc nothing is impossible with God. I’m so so incredibly happy for you, Shobelyn, that you have 2 beautiful children after all the hardships you went through. This experience has really brought my husband and me closer together than ever before so we feel extremely blessed in that regard. Thank you so much for your prayers!

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